Hey everybody. Welcome to Friday. You made it to the top of the week. Congrats. I’ve a deal with for you all: Taco Bell’s 2024 Dwell Mas Occasion. What’s that? It’s principally a Taco Bell mini-E3 full with musical acts, bulletins, and all of the cringey moments you crave from one thing like this. Sure, in case you guessed that this is able to be a bizarre, late-capitalist fever dream, you’re right.
I had no concept this occasion was occurring till somebody on Twitter started tweeting about it. I instantly dropped all the things and began watching.
The occasion opened with Taco Bell’s CEO displaying up and speaking about how nice the quick meals chain is and the way anybody can take pleasure in its large tacos and burritos. For instance this, he pointed to a tweet that I’m 98% sure is a joke and wasn’t meant to be taken significantly by anybody, particularly not the dude working Taco Bell. It known as Taco Bell “the final nice melting pot of sophistication on this nation.”
After that, there was some extra fluff, and I’ll be trustworthy with you all: For those who tuned into this occasion for large information in regards to the Baja Blast or what’s subsequent for Taco Bell’s menu, you had been in all probability a bit pissed off by all of the fluff stuffed into this Ubisoft circa 2015 convention.
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At one level, somebody started handing out awards to of us for finest menu hack and finest Taco Bell marriage ceremony. In a while, the entire occasion stopped for a couple of minutes to let two dudes play some acoustic music. They sounded nice, however digital camera pictures of the gang (together with a dude’s hat that had “Moist Desires Surf Membership” emblazoned on it) appeared to point that the room was very a lot not into this vibe and simply wished to know what new slop Taco Bell was dropping.
Lastly, after practically half-hour of…no matter that every one was, the chief advertising and marketing officer at Taco Bell, Taylor Montgomery, confirmed as much as ship some Taco Bell product information to thunderous applause and cheering. The information: Taco Bell desires to and plans on making its widespread nacho fries everlasting menu gadgets. However they’re nonetheless attempting to “determine” how. Okay…
After that, he gave us a shadow-drop (it’s similar to Hello-Fi Rush on the Xbox Developer Direct!), saying a brand new “Tacky Rooster Crispanda,” a shredded cheese-filled, chicken-stuffed empanada. People gasped (not kidding) when he confirmed that this new menu merchandise can be out there nationwide subsequent week.
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Subsequent up, he revealed Taco Bell is bringing hen nuggets to the menu. On the sight of those fried bits of hen, somebody within the crowd yelled out “No means!” Montgomery was fast to answer: “Sure means! Whoever stated ‘no means,’ YES WAY woman!”
Then, after some airhorns, Montgomery revealed a brand new “very restricted time” merchandise: Baja Blast ice cream. It’s deliberate to launch this summer time. I assume at this level no less than one particular person within the viewers had fainted from all of the Taco Bell information. It was simply an excessive amount of.
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And for all you sauce packet sickos, Taco Bell is aware of you’re bored with the boring previous packets. So it’s altering them up this 12 months and we received our first have a look at the brand new ones. Thrilling stuff, of us. I’m vibrating.
However Taco Bell wasn’t completed. No. In any case that, Montgomery confirmed a picture of a Crunchwrap and stated, “Appears to be like like an everyday Crunchwrap, proper?” People, that’s your first clue that the person is about to trick you all. And he did. It seems, it wasn’t an everyday Crunchwrap (GASP!) however in reality it contained a large Cheez-It.
“Ooohhhhhhh!!” went many of us within the viewers. “WAAHhh!” yelled another person at this revelation.
“I current to you: the Cheez-It Crunchwrap!” Extra cheering adopted. In line with Montgomery, this new merchandise shall be out there at each Taco Bell this summer time. The occasion then ended with a rap break.
Get pleasure from your weekend of us, and bear in mind to Dwell Mas!
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